When My Dad died most of my “relationships” did too., by Dayna Hodge Lynch
POETRY READINGS
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2m 12s
Performed by Val Cole
Get to know the poet:
1) What is the theme of your poem?
My poem's theme is grief and the lack of understanding of others. This poem centers grievers and how lonely it is at times. People are not taught and often do not know how to interact with people experiencing grief. So many relationships I had changed because of grief. Each day is new. Each new grief experience changes you into a different version of yourself. You'll never quite be the same as others remember, so they also have to learn to be patient while you accept and learn your new reality.
2) What motivated you to write this poem?
The motivation of this poem was to purge all the things afflicting my spirit that were upsetting me. I needed to write a poem to express the truth of what was hurting me the most during the time I was at my most vulnerable. This poem was written quickly and spilled itself onto the page. The poem is raw and intense because of the truth there-- I knew, unfortunately, other grievers knew this was not an uncommon experience of isolation.
3) How long have you been writing poetry?
I've been writing poetry as long as I've been writing. I remember writing poetry in kindergarten for Mother's Day. Poetry was always my favorite subject in school. I always craved more of it. Poetry always found me and called me in. Shout out to the poets!
4) If you could have dinner with one person (dead or alive), who would that be?
There're so many people I'd want to have dinner with. I'd want to eat dinner with Josephine Baker. I've always loved learning about how fully she lived her life, but then there's also Frank Ocean. His lyricism and bravery have always stuck with me and inspired me to live the same way.
5) What influenced you to submit to have your poetry performed by a professional actor?
The arts are so important! Having my work performed by a professional actor is a privilege and an honor. To hear my words given life and performed by another is breathtaking. Thank you for this opportunity.
6) Do you write other works? scripts? Short Stories? Etc..?
I'm dipping my toes into non-fiction. We'll see what's next!
7) What is your passion in life?
My passion in life is love. Education is love. Accountability is love. Grief is love. Being able to be in community with one another is love. Showing up for one another is love.
POEM:
Trauma greets me in the morning
Growing legs and stretching to lay beside Grief and I
My spearmint tea is poured with with tears of solitude steeped into my being
My phone dings, a message from the socials
this “relative” seeking to be absolved
“Hey I saw this *grief story* made me think of you (from a person I haven’t heard from since 2 days after Dad died)”
Next a message from 3:06 am…
“I know I haven’t been there for you with your grief after your dad. I hope you’re doing better”
The closer to the holidays, the closer I am to the realm of Dante’s Inferno.
So many levels to choose from…
So this is like the ex that called me out of my name once, 4 days after my Dad died. We then broke up.
This is like the man that I thought was a friend when my sister was experiencing that aneurysm (2 months after Dad died) but showed me his unsolicited penis and opinion instead.
This is like the person I thought was a friend told me, I don’t want to be around you when you’re like this. Can we try to see where you’re at in a few months?
This is like when that other “bestie” never initiated contact. Never uttered a word. Nor the other bestie because “I was a downer”.
This is like when I needed support and love and was met with the attention of my lonesome loneliness.
This is the part of the story where I can’t make this shit up,
They’ll say it’ll get better. I’m waiting now like I’m waiting for the 14 trying to get to work. Hummingbirds knew to find the best method of recovery —fly in any direction but love yourself enough to leave
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