Performed by Val Cole

Visual Design by Adam Bilyea

Produced by Matthew Toffolo

POEM:

When the time comes you have to spend Christmas alone,
the way to do it is to hit the vigil
service at some strange and distant parish,
and show up drunk.

Drive all morning
Christmas Eve to some god-forsaken
podunk town where you know no one.
Get a room, a greasy diner lunch
and a bottle of Jameson.

(If Irish whiskey
is your go-to, then choose another.
Look for something pleasant but unfamiliar.
Note well: this is not an anesthetic
but a pro-one.)

The two of you
could walk the town a while if you’re
discrete. (Remember, jail is not
the goal, but church.) Take in the sights,
but focus on the whiskey.

If strands
of lights the town has wound around
itself recall some strands of your own
hometown or kin, take off your glasses;
let them blur. (If you don’t wear glasses,
put some on.)

The timely disorientation
of senses, wits, will be your cue
to refind the rented room—you’ll say
to go home. Take care; if you start feeling hostile
you’ve walked or drunk too much.

Now undress
in the middle of the dimly lit but sterile
room just like a million other
rooms, in front of the mirror that’s seen
a thousand naked bodies.

Tidy up
yourself. With greatest ceremony
unbag those finest garments you brought
fresh from the cleaners and wrap yourself
in them as one would a gift.

Now go.
The hour is getting late and you’ll want
to be early. But wait—another sip
and don’t forget your smile, something
to share as you’re filing in.

When the Gloria
comes, oh belt it out with gusto.
You haven’t forgotten the words, but let
Yourself, so you can sing each word
for the first, blessed time.

Go on, belt it out.
They’ll let you know if you’re off key
or too loud, and when they do, though your smile
be overwrought and forced, the liquor
effusing from your pores,

think
of the beautifully ribboned packages
you saw in downtown windows and
remember that you have nothing left
to give, no hopes of receiving

and wish them,
oh heartily wish them (or try) a merry,
a very merry, indeed the merriest
of merry, oh a very merry
if non-traditional
Christmas