https://youtu.be/ODONvrHKgco

Performed by Val Cole

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POEM:

We learn love
the way children learn danger
running toward it
full speed,
laughing.

You hid behind your smile,
beneath your skin,
purposely.
Still, I counted
in heartbeats.

One heartbeat,
two.
Danger.
Regret.
Things I never say out loud
because I haven't learned
their name.

You disappear and
I search,
filled with anticipation.
I found you
dangling between spaced ribs.
You said,
"You weren't supposed to find me here."
I said
"Of all places."

We duck behind emotions
because they are difficult to name.
We count seconds
because apologies mean
something is wrong.

Just because I see you
doesn't mean you or I
have to explain ourselves.

I don't want to win.
When it's my turn to hide,
I want to be found.
I want your hands, your smile
to point at me and say
there you are.

We learn danger
the way children learn love
not by hiding in plain sight,
not by counting
for the sake of counting.

Ready or not,
I am standing here
with a scraped knee,
waiting for you
to find me.