Performed by Val Cole

POEM:

I am a lost soul,
Blighted, bruised,
Condemned to wait
For what will never come.

But still, I am not idle;
I drift, aimless, through desolation—
A desert, cold and cracked,
A barren land devoid of life.

Here, hope is an illusion.
Time—wasted and worn,
A currency that crumbles to dust,
With no worth,
No meaning.

I suffer in silence.
Success is a mirage,
Filling my head with visions,
Of outcomes unfulfilled.

And yet, I dread the moment
When minutes slow to molasses,
And hours stretch like shadows,
Days blurring, their edges softening—
Until months drown in the fog of madness.

But still, I walk this path,
Persisting through the void,
Remaining in the silence.

I wonder—
Am I damned by fate,
Or a fool at war with myself?

Get to know the poet:

1) What is the theme of your poem?
I think the biggest theme overall is the sense of loss, whether it be identity, purpose, or direction. And then you have the self-reflection and self-doubt that comes with it.

2) What motivated you to write this poem?
When I initially wrote Crisis of the Self, I was in a weird place. Long story short, I fell into that trap where I was comparing myself to others. Everyone seemed to have life figured out except me. Nothing seemed to be going right in mine. I felt lost and disillusioned. I was questioning pretty much everything. Myself, life, etc. With it being a new year, I decided to revisit this poem and see what could be improved upon. Even though I don't feel like this anymore, I felt it deserved to be shared because I figured there are people out there who've felt similar at one point or another. And if anything, it serves as a reminder of how far I've come since then.

3) How long have you been writing poetry?
2010 was the year I finally wrote a poem I was truly satisfied with. I tried my hand at it previously but nothing I wrote ever came out the way I wanted it to. Crazy to think that particular poem took 13 years to find a home.

4) If you could have dinner with one person (dead or alive), who would that be?
Jorge Luis Borges. I'd love to talk to him in-depth about the short stories he wrote.

5) What influenced you to submit to have your poetry performed by a professional actor?
I read my poetry out loud during the creative process and after I've finished but it's nice to hear the final product being read from someone else's perspective. I've tried those free to use text-to-speech websites but they're pretty awful. It just made sense to me to have a professional read it. Besides, I think it's a neat idea and it seemed like a good way to gain more exposure.

6) Do you write other works? scripts? Short Stories? Etc..?
I've written some short stories and a few one-act plays. I'll continue writing poems but this year I'd like to revisit the plays I already wrote and see how I can polish them up so they can be sent out again. I also want to start working on the ones I've been brainstorming for some time now. In terms of possibilities, I'm excited to see what 2025 has in store.

7) What is your passion in life?
Nowadays? Creating my own happiness, doing things that make me feel fulfilled. Life can beat you down if you're not careful. Self-love and self-care is important!