Am I Still Beautiful?, 8min., USA
Directed by Tara Sekana Zulfikar
Fourteen-year-old Malaya is the quintessential tomboy who loves baggy pants and hanging out with boys. However, her world of familial expectation and rough friendships collide on the day of her birthday party, when she is forced to prove her masculinity once and for all in order to defend her best friend and secret crush, Ali.

https://www.tarazulfikar.com/
https://www.instagram.com/tara_zulfikar/

1. What motivated you to make this film?
This film is deeply personal and closely mirrors my own upbringing. I was a classic tomboy growing up—always trying to emulate my older brother. I wore his oversized checkered shirts and baggy pants, and spent most of my time surrounded by boys. With no girls' soccer team at my primary school, I joined the boys' team and felt completely at home in that world.

But everything shifted when I was around fourteen and developed a crush on a close male friend. I worked up the courage to express my feelings in a roundabout way, only to realize I was still seen as "one of the guys"—funny, rough-around-the-edges, and invisible in any romantic sense.

Am I Still Beautiful? is my way of exploring identity, beauty, and self-worth. It's a personal reckoning, a way of rewriting my story and reclaiming my femininity on my own terms. I also hope it resonates with others navigating similar questions about how we define and express who we are.

2. From idea to finished product, how long did it take to make this film?
This film was created for one of my production classes at NYU. Pre-production lasted about six weeks, and we shot the film over two days. Post-production, however, took the longest—around seven months.

3. How would you describe your film in two words?
Bittersweet and familiar.

4. What was the biggest obstacle you faced in completing this film?
Post-production, hands down. I often get caught in an endless loop of edits, second-guessing every cut, unsure when a project is truly finished. I ended up sitting on this film longer than I planned, but thankfully, my editor Adriana Guevara was an amazing collaborator. After a long break, we returned to the project with fresh eyes and landed on a cut we were both really proud of.

5. What were your initial reactions to the audience feedback video?
I loved it! There's no better feeling than hearing people "get" your film. It was like—Yes! That's exactly what I was going for. It's incredibly affirming.

6. When did you realize you wanted to make films?
I got a camera for my 14th birthday, and I started out with photography before transitioning into video. I made skits with my childhood friends and quickly fell in love with storytelling. I've always been obsessed with the way movies make you feel—it just made sense to pursue filmmaking.

7. What film have you seen the most in your life?
Probably The Florida Project by Sean Baker.

8. What could festivals do to better support filmmakers like yourself?
Getting real audience reactions is such a rare and rewarding experience. Most of the time, it's just a yes or no—you're accepted or you're not. So to be able to hear genuine, constructive feedback and feel that sense of community? That's invaluable. Honestly, I have no notes—just keep doing more of that!

9. How has your experience been using FilmFreeway?
I love FilmFreeway. It's super user-friendly and makes it so easy to get your work out there and seen by people around the world.

10. What's your favorite meal?
Indonesian food, no question. I'm obsessed with nasi padang—steamed white rice served with a variety of sides like beef rendang, curried jackfruit, and all kinds of spicy, flavorful dishes.

11. What's next for you—any upcoming projects?
I'm currently wrapping up post-production on a commercial for a local Brooklyn chocolate shop. Post was a bit of a challenge again, but I'm proud to have pushed through. I've also been focusing on producing, and I have several films lined up for this upcoming festival season!